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Health and Lifestyle
Healthy Love: Just an Interpretation
“My primary relationship is with myself all others are mirrors of it. As I learn to love myself, I automatically receive the love and appreciation that I desire from others. If I am committed to myself and to living my truth, I will attract others with equal commitment. My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another. As I learn to love myself, I receive the love I desire from others.”
– Shakti Gawain
I find this quote so encouraging and motivating for the reader to embark on their own personal journey of getting to know themselves. The writer gives the reader hope that as they continue the work with themselves honestly more space will become available to work with.
It is as if the more you work on yourself the more filler is missing. You have more room available to fill with the actions, desires, people, and hobbies that you would like to have. It is almost like forcing yourself to work out creates the energy you were looking for in the first place to chase your kids.
These deep down desires within us of connection, development, and love are readily available as we create more space.
Deciding to embark on the journey in the first place is courageous. With each minute spent on living our truth we are rewarded in ways we could only dream of. These deep down desires within us of connection, development, and love are readily available as we create more space. Letting go of the lies we tell ourselves. Letting go of all the habits, thoughts, and people who no longer serve us and yet we cling to them in a desperate attempt at living forever in the past or in our delusions.
But maybe it isn’t delusions. Maybe it is the imagination? Maybe it is a clouded fantasy?
Like a closet… we want to buy more clothes and find that style that just clicks with us, our personality, and our body shape. But if our closet is chock full of shirts, dresses, shoes, sweaters, etc… How on earth will we even fit one more item at all in that closet? It isn’t possible. Unless of course we want to be like that cartoon where the closet is stuffed.. one tiny thing more gets added to the closet… the character walks away… and then a creaking sound… and KAMBOOOM!!! The closet flies opens and clothing items fly everywhere and bury our protagonist.
Although it is uncomfortable to start pulling out our own stuffing it is something that is necessary if we want to be full of more (joy, happiness, energy, etc,.) It isn’t as if we hate or don’t cherish the memories or moments shared with those things or people. It is just that they are no longer serving us in a way that feels good or has grown stagnant. It isn’t personal. That sweater was a life saver in the past but now it just doesn’t fit right; we can give it away or recycle it so that it may be a treasure for someone else. That friendship was just what we needed at that stage in life; but now we have both grown in different directions.
Although it is uncomfortable to start pulling out our own stuffing it is something that is necessary if we want to be full of more (joy, happiness, energy, etc,.)
But here we are with our stuffed closet metaphor and here is a radical idea. The radical idea that everything we are searching for could be found if only we start taking action where we should have started in the first place. The relationship with ourselves. With each compliment in the mirror, every act of self-love, every mission of discovery we embark on, and every step out of our comfort zone our relationship grows. Of course it is difficult but just think… what a marvellous relationship we could have! What a fabulous journey we have the privilege of embarking on!
Say it with me: thank you (to) ______________________ for being in my life. I am glad we had that moment. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours. (And really mean it.) Then let go.
Fabulously Positive Reads
The Stranger Beside Me By: Ann Rule
Book 3 of 2024
Summary
The Stranger Beside Me, is a crime novel that is also autobiographical in nature as the author knew Ted Bundy personally. The author Ann Rule gives first hand encounters, thoughts, and impressions of Ted Bundy as her friend and then as what we know him now to be as a prolific serial rapist and killer. If you get the privilege of listening to the audiobook edition the reader is treated to hearing the author herself read you her story. This story gives the reader an opportunity to be alongside a friend or acquaintance of a serial killer and be there on the sidelines as the realization hits them that someone they know so intimately is in fact not only capable of but convicted of horrific crimes.
Often we see news or perpetrators and we wonder how do people know these people? This book answers some of those questions and shows examples of how these perpetrators can contain different facets of their lives separately from one another… but here Ann provides insight into what occurs when the control starts to unravel.
Below is video of Ann Rule speaking about Ted Bundy. The entire video is a discussion where she is present the group is talking about serial killers and their prevalence in United States at this time (1984.)
Thoughts and Review
I picked this book up originally out of curiosity from comments in a True Crime Fans group. The book was mentioned during a discussion of how ridiculous it is that we (the people) are always asking, “how did no one think think there was something wrong with them?” (Referring to a perpetrator.) That discussion made me think of the not a book club that was featured in The Southern Guide to Slaying Vampires , that I had read last year.
Ann Rule writes and speaks in her own words her relationship with Ted Bundy and how she knew him. They were friends and volunteers together and they were reasonably close. She describes who he was as a person and what he meant to her. In the initial story it is easy to see how she thought and felt about Ted Bundy.
As the case begins to gather steam you get to hear the disbelief, in her own voice during recollection, of how baffling it seemed to her that Bundy was a suspect in the initial crimes. Then you get the treat of listening to that disbelief and doubt turn into apprehension, fear, and then horror as the realization hit. The process her mind went through drawing lines together was admirable while she maintained her distance but kept her friendship with Ted.
Although it was a short audiobook it was so enthralling that it was an easy listen. Hearing the author read her own book with such a sensitive subject manner was a real treat. You could read her own emotions as she read. The narration aspect brought a realism to general information and facts that we know about the Ted Bundy crimes and who he was. While listening you get the feel of her going back in time to recollect her thoughts and feelings at each stage of the story.
You hear more than just how much of a charismatic and handsome man he was in Ann’s view. You hear about how much a caring side he had, his difficult upbringing, and that secretive manner he had in speaking. You also heard about his intelligence, how determined he was to learn, and how confident he was in his own ability to escape the inevitable outcome. His difficult upbringing was never used to excuse his behaviour but rather to point out where exactly certain habits or traits were developed.
This was a great audiobook to take in for my own curiosity and a tie over to other contexts like the facts of Ted Bundy’s crimes, discussions, conversations, and other books that reference this exact book. It was a fantastic listen.
Recommendation
I would recommend this audiobook (and book) to any true crime fans. In my own opinion I do believe the audiobook was a better choice for me because I got to hear the author speaking her own words, her own experience, and her own thoughts. The book does go into some of the brutal nature of the crimes as well as interpretation of the societal fear that was taking place. If you are sensitive to the subject matter of Ted Bundy’s crimes I would not recommend. Happy Reading!