“The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did.)” By: Phillippa Perry
Book 16 of 2023
A Summary
Phillippa Perry is a psychotherapist and writer who uses this book to bridge the gap between parents and their children. She writes about how our own upbringing alters the way we see the parenting with its own lens. She gives us a pause to think about our own interpretations of behaviour when it comes to our own children. Phillippa offers many ideas to strengthen our relationships with our children but also with our inner selves. To be able to see ourselves and our parents as humans we can get a better picture of why things are the way they are. Of course with any self-discovery book there are pieces that will not apply to you that you can leave behind. What she is attempting to do in this book is to explain to you that all behaviour by your children is communication no matter what age they are. That your interpretation of that behaviour matters and your reaction to it leaves an impression on their minds. This impression lives on in their minds as they grow older and filters their impression of you. The reader can think of their own impressions of their parents as an example.
Thoughts and Review
This book brought an entirely new set of eyes to parenting for me. With such kind thoughtfulness the author makes you rethink, think, and adjust your communication skills with your kids. The activities are great tools to use and experiment with. Although the first weeks of trying out the different techniques had my children acting out even more… now we are starting to see positive changes from each of them. This book was an absolutely priceless read. I highly recommend this book. This book is helpful for my own parenting skills but also in addressing my own past as a child. At one point there was the idea that children and parents were not a team but rather in two different worlds apart with one in charge and the other obeying. But now it is hopeful to think the relationship could be one of a team. We are in an age that feelings matter and we know that they leave impressions on our mental health as adults and children. We hear so often that childhood time flies for our children and even the everyday experiences add up in their subconscious (as it did for us.) This book is here for us to use so that we may leave behind a positive impression that our children can build their futures upon. It was unfortunate though that of all the advice that is suggested there was no real advice for those parents that do not have means or support available to follow some of the ideas.
Recommendation
If are looking to investigate the impressions made on your mind from childhood or looking at improving the relationships you have with your own children this book would be a great addition to your reading list. It was easy to read with many examples and activities to try with children. However there are some activities that are difficult or impossible to follow if you do not have the means or support to do so. (However, this is an opportunity to discover your own way to follow through.) This book is a great tool to use to strengthen the relationships and bonds you have with them. For me a big take away was that all behaviour is communication; we communicate through the avenues that we have available to us. We cannot use a skill we do not yet possess and this book has such a patient and kind way of reminding us of that.