True story I was listening to, “Finally Feel Good in Your Body: 4 Expert Steps to Feeling More Confident Today,” of The Mel Robbins Podcast. While listening to the episode I just kept getting “A-Ha” moments. By the end of the episode I was thinking, “I got this.” I was just thinking how these are tips that I can really use. I really understood this episode entirely. However, in the lull of thoughts forming a different realization came to mind. Some questions came to mind; Was I really about to try and talk myself out of podcast tips? How do I undermine my own thinking? Why do we as people do that?In my own mind these questions highlighted one of the beguiling traits of my subconscious.
I have often read the thought that “we are own worst enemy,” in different forms, quotes, arguments, and conversations. Now here I was facing my own experience as the realization sunk in that I was actually trying to talk myself out of podcast tips. I was actually arguing with myself about whether or not I understood the episode. Who argues about that? I was. When that argument came apart a new one emerged this time the topic of whether I understood the tips given. Again, who argues about that? Again, I was. Now, as my inner critic was attempting to belittle me that I wasn’t so smart something could click I was stopped by the inner argument. I was so puzzled as to how this “voice” came on so strongly. Like what? Who argues about any of this? Where was this coming for? In any case, I suppose, confusion literally took the air out of the argument and the negative self talk diminished. From a positive point of view this is clearly a mark of progress since this is obviously proof of the weakened state of my negative self talk that confusion could bring it down. This was the exact point of the podcast episode: where/when was the first time you first felt that negative feeling about your body? That moment created a persona/feeling/court-member who would now advocate and argue this point until the end of time. No matter how invalid or ridiculous it is. How is it that I could nitpick myself to the extent of using my entire life as evidence in a proverbial court?
As this court is in session the tactics employed by all sides emerge as strategies to get the greatest effect. Of course all of this is done with absolutely no regard of the consequences of the argument or the treatment of witnesses. As the prosecution or defence stands and asks the question, “how did you nitpick yourself to the extent that your entire life can be used as evidence?” Well, that is the question isn’t it? I could say in response.
I think it starts with accepting the thought that we do not think we are smart enough in one sense or another. Then it moves to not thinking we are capable of this or that. Then I think of that one time that that one nasty girl made that comment that is only remembered by me. From there, it’s a total stripping away of my self-respect. Every person that ever made that face when I had an idea or the blatant derision received lives in my mind in locker 201. The self-deprecation to the point of growth stagnation is stacked vicariously in locker 202. Every mistakebig and small weapons of destruction are in the shady saddlebags shoved in locker 203. Your honour I plead my case that earthquakes shake and bust the lockers open, or that someone with shady intentions comes through with magnetic powers that splits them open, or which is most likely I go looking for answers and end up opening every locker in the hall because I am a sucker for punishment. Of course at this point my head bows in shame but it shouldn’t. This is a sign I am making waves by recognizing my patterns! We are not all of those things that we have jammed in lockers! The judge sits with their menacing look taking on the persona of that one individual that we always seem to have disappointed.
But as this scenario plays out in our minds we shouldn’t be tapping out in shame. Just by getting this far in the court case I have showed that I am making an impact on my growth and healing! This is huge! And this is why the podcast episode clicked! Because even if I don’t believe it complicity I do subconsciously believe in myself! From all the learning I have been doing personally I truly believe that everyone has this tiny voice of faith in oneself. From my own experience I think between all of us is the difference it is a matter of whether it is a whisper, a yell, an EVP, or polite conversation volume. That is just my thought. In my mind it explains those moments you read about or see like: the courage that grips someone to walk out on the America’s Got Talent stage on a whim.
Ultimately, the journey from self-doubt and internal criticism to a place of self-belief and growth is a profound one. As evidenced by the insights gleaned from The Mel Robbins Podcast, and my own wrestling with its application, the tendency to “nitpick” ourselves or succumb to the “beguiling traits of our subconscious” can hold us captive. Yet, through diligent self-reflection and a willingness to confront these internal arguments, a significant shift can occur.
The realization that “we are our own worst enemy” is not an indictment, but an invitation to cultivate a “tiny voice of faith in oneself.” It’s about recognizing that growth and healing are not external impositions but internal processes spurred by a courageous embrace of our own potential. This evolution from undermining ourselves to championing our own well-being is not just about confidence; it’s about reclaiming our inherent power and taking those bold, unscripted steps that define true personal progress.